Mixed emotions are a common occurrence. One piece of research suggests that we experience them up to 36% of the time in our daily lives. Moments of delight are often intertwined with disappointment. We might feel deep love for our partner while also grappling with all-consuming frustration. The excitement of a new adventure comes hand in hand with fear. Pride and joy in a child’s accomplishments are coupled with the sad realization that they are growing up. But in spite of how common these emotions are, they often create a sense of unease, disorientation, or resistance that typically comes from unfamiliarity. The long and the short of it - we struggle with allowing opposing emotions to co-exist.

Moving to a different location, let alone a different time zone, has brought into sharp focus the daily interactions with friends and family, or lack there of. I often reach for my phone to share only to realise that ‘they’, my closest connections, are asleep on another continent. The people who would get my crappy joke (or at least pretend to find it vaguely amusing) or silly concerns are simply not available. It stirs up a sense of emptiness, reminiscent of when my Dad died. For months after I was struck by a daily reminder that he’d gone every time I went to call.

As a psychologist, these experiences underscore the profound human need to be seen, heard, and believed in by the people who know us. Often it isn’t the big gestures of support that are foundational so much as the tiny everyday occurrences. When this connection is lacking, it becomes glaringly apparent.